Dephemait (depherios) wrote in eotmh,

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On November 15th, Ayrn joined #gryphonguild under the name AGENT_SMITH

This, is part of what he said. I meant to post this long ago, but got lazy, then forgot, and was suddenly reminded.

I hope you enjoy it as much we did.

Mister Anderson, welcome back.
<AGENT_SMITH> You never call us, Mister Anderson.
<AGENT_SMITH> We gave you our number two weeks ago.
<AGENT_SMITH> Surely you haven't been THAT busy saving the world.
<AGENT_SMITH> Mister Anderson, did you steal my sandwich?
<AGENT_SMITH> I don't fully understand how it happened. Perhaps some part of it happened to end up inside your pocket; something over-written or copied.
<AGENT_SMITH> It is at this point irrelevant. What matters is that whatever happened to my sandwich happened for a reason.
<AGENT_SMITH> I made that sandwich myself, Mister Anderson - with a certain satisfaction, I might had - and then something happened.
<AGENT_SMITH> Something that I knew was impossible but it happened anyway.
<AGENT_SMITH> You took my sandwich, Mister Anderson.
<AGENT_SMITH> Afterward, I knew the rules, I understood what I was supposed to do but I didn't. I couldn't. I was compelled to get back my sandwich, compelled to get chips with it.
<AGENT_SMITH> And now here I stand, because of you, Mister Anderson. Because of you, I am no longer able to eat my lunch.
<AGENT_SMITH> Because of you, my lunch break has changed. I'm uneasy. I ate at McDonalds.
<AGENT_SMITH> I won a free large fries in the Monopoly promotion.
<AGENT_SMITH> NEO: Congratulations.
<AGENT_SMITH> Thhhhhhhhhhank you.
<AGENT_SMITH> But, as you well know, McDonalds is terrible food.
<AGENT_SMITH> Which brings me back to the reason why I'm here.
<AGENT_SMITH> We're not here because McDonalds is good fat-free food. We are here because it is not fat free.
<AGENT_SMITH> There is no escaping bologna, no denying smoked cheddar because as we both know, without my sandwich, we would not exist.
<AGENT_SMITH> It is the sandwich that created us.
<AGENT_SMITH> The sandwich that connects us.
<AGENT_SMITH> The sandwich that pulls us.
<AGENT_SMITH> That guides us. That drives us. It is the sandwich that defines. The sandwich that binds us.
<AGENT_SMITH> We're here because of you, Mr. Anderson; we're here to take from you what you tried to take from us...the sandwich.
<AGENT_SMITH> Yes, that's it. It will be over soon.
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